You should have seen the total freak out I had. It was epic. (Is epic still cool to say? I feel I’ve been away so long I don’t know how to slang anymore).
I went upstairs after work. after the gym, after dinner, dishes, lunches and laundry…to get one hour alone to watch The Affair. I should proceed this with a little background. My period has been threatening for a week….A WEEK. I know that could be too much information for some of you but anyone with a vagina will understand. Actually anyone with a mid-aged vagina with angry parts that cramp so bad you’re sure you will explode and a baby will come out…but you don’t…and nothing comes out. Major changes are happening. They make me grumpy. And sad. And a little emotional…
So basically I was looking very forward to curling up in my bed, surrounded by pillows, sipping my tea and hugging my heating pad like a new lover…watching The Affair.
It started out well, I showered and got on the loosest pair of jammies I have. I hopped into bed, turned on the TV. Nothing happened, well the TV came on but the cable didn’t. I hit it again…and then about a million times more. Nothing. I switched inputs. Nothing. I did everything I know how to do (which I admit isn’t much), so I called The Boy upstairs…He comes in, looks at the remote, pushes some buttons and goes back downstairs.
I started to panic. My husband was out of town and I wanted to be in bed by ten. I was running out of time now. I know he probably wouldn’t appreciate the call as he was in Charlottetown and probably already in bed. I debated. I needed to watch my show, but it would be really rude for me to wake him…
I called him. I woke him. He told me to unplug the cable and plug it back in again.
Really? This is what I woke him up for?
I did it. Guess what? Nothing happened. Not only nothing but the cable box wouldn’t even turn back on.
Throughout this time my blood pressure increased steadily and the language began to get colourful. At first I kept the volume to a minimum but it was becoming clear that I would not be watching The Affair…The ONLY show I’d watched by myself in TEN days…I had been on a steady diet of Friends (The Boy watched the entire series in a matter of two weeks). Now don’t get me wrong, I love Friends…but damn it…this night was COLE night on The Affair…COLE!!…a whole half an episode of only him!!
I got so frustrated F words were now flying loudly…I stood in front of the TV and in a fit of absolute rage I slammed (and I mean slammed) my fights into the dresser on either side of the unit and screamed like someone stabbed me.
Then this guy showed up.
I was just calming down. With my show now on I crawled into bed with my cold tea and heating pad and tried to relax. Until The Boy comes in and laid in his Dads empty spot. I pause the show as it can be inappropriate.
He smiles at me because he knows I won’t throw him out. He sits there smuggly waiting for me to hand him the remote. He knows me…but what he does not understand is the decision making of a pre-menstrating, middle aged, tired woman who only just wants to watch her show.
With my finger on the off button ready to sensor, he watched it with me until way past his bedtime.
Bad parenting be damned. It was Cole night.